My grandfather's last funeral was yesterday. It was so beautiful. He was a captain in the Army so we had a military ceremony. This was the first military funeral I had been to. I did a pretty good job of composing myself until the officer handed my grandfather's flag to my grandmother. That was when I lost it. Hearing the words come out of the officer's mouth made it seem official. Hearing him play taps on the horn made it seem final. I couldn't keep it in anymore.

This week has probably been the hardest week I have ever lived through. Going to all of these funerals & visitations & hearing everyone say "My condolences" "I'm sorry for your loss" blah blah blah can just really wear one out. The only thing that kept me going was my Grandma Janet. She is definitely the strongest woman I have ever known. How she is handling this whole thing is so inspiring. I can only imagine how tough this has been on her. But she doesn't show it. She always had a smile on her face when talking to her friends at the visitations. It wasn't the happy kind of smile; it was a strong kind of smile. I don't think I've ever seen a more sincere look on anyone's face than the one she had whenever she would reminisce about my grandpa. It broke my heart to think about how she just lost the love of her life. The reason why I don't think I'm going to get married is because I don't think I will be able to go through what she has had to go through. 

She is my hero for this.