I've been going through a lot lately. I haven't been making the right decisions in my life and I've come to the conclusion it is because I have yet to realize that I have to grow up. Throughout my life there has always been someone there to knock me upside the head (figuratively, of course) & help me get my shit together. But now those people are gone. I only have myself to fix my mistakes. Yes, I still have these peoples' support. But their support is all they can offer. I was talking with some friends yesterday about how in high school every time I was late to class or struggling with a certain subject or having a family crisis I could go to my theatre teacher & he would help me through it all. Now I'm in college & he's teaching at a different school. Rackers can't hold my hand & help me get shit done anymore. All he can do is give me support & advice & hope to God that I don't fuck anything up. That's all anyone can really do now. It's up to me to make things right, to make decisions (whether they be the right or wrong one), & to live my life.