Escape 2011: An Awesome Weekend in 140 Characters or Less

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to once again join my friends at the BSU on their fall retreat Escape. I had been looking forward to this weekend for weeks, so I was so stoked that the day had finally come to hop on that bus & head out into God's great creation that is the middle of nowhere. I was so excited that I forgot to bring a very good friend of mine: my phone, Rafael. This realization began the roller coaster that is my range of emotion. At first I had a little panic attack (what if a disaster happened & no one could reach me??), which was followed by a little bit of relief (I could now enjoy the weekend without the distraction of my life back home), which was then followed by a sea of sadness, & then finally the acceptance that there was nothing I could do to change the fact that Rafael could have been left anywhere, from the front seat of Lindsay's car to her fridge. I didn't realize, though, how hard it was going to be for me to not tweet everytime something funny or life changing happened throughout the weekend. So, in an attempt to preserve what sanity I had left, I began to write down what I WOULD HAVE tweeted in my notetaking journal & I am now going to share said "tweets" with all of you.

*AHEM*

#1. I just want to put a Ronald Reagan mask on & hit him in the balls with a baseball bat. **(this one had nothing to do with Escape, it was just something I had said before we left.)

#2. I used to have an iron bladder, but now I can't drink anything without having to pee 5 minutes later.

#3. If you're going to request to have the lights turned off then don't talk once they are.

#4. Filled my water bottle with V8 Splash & now everything is yellow. I'm going to write a very angry letter to Mr. V8 about this.

#5. Left my phone at Lindsay's house, yet I still managed to pack my phone charger.

#6. I hate it when Lindsay tells embarrassing stories about me. It makes me want to punch a baby in the throat.

#7. Been getting a lot of compliments on my Toms. Those 2 hours it took to sew the fabric on were totes worth it.

#8. Just fell in a bush without realizing I was falling. I should really lay off the s'mores.

#9. WHY DIDN'T WE HAVE A POPSICLE EATING CONTEST??? THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO AWESOME!!!

#10. It's so hard to believe that just a year ago I was a vegetarian. How did I survive without my daily serving of bacon??

Fin

So I'm watching Underworld:Evolution on the SyFy channel. I usually don't watch SyFy, mainly because I don't like the crap they show on there. But I decided to make a small exception since I like the Underworld series & I haven't seen Rise of the Lycans (which is on next). This decision has reminded me of why I HATE watching movies on television, especially movies that are rated R. It's hard for me to enjoy a cinematic adventure when it gets interrupted by commercial breaks every 5 minutes. I can't get into the story. Plus they edit it for television which makes the movie totally different than what it is if you were to watch it in the theaters. This whole experience is just highly upsetting. But I'm going to get back to it because it's almost over & I don't want to be lost when I start to watch Rise of the Lycans. Then all of this would be for naught.

Didn't get the job.

Still living on a prayer.

Been on a big The King's Singers kick lately.

 

This has been a favorite of mine for a really long time.

I always listen to it when I go to sleep.

Goodnight.

Sometimes I don't think people realize how harsh they are being when they talk to people.

Maybe try a little empathy or sympathy or any other kind of -pathy that sounds good to you.

Just stop being so harsh.

Sarah Smiles...

I smile like I don’t care. I put on this act that I’m doing fine. I tell everyone that asks me how I’m doing that I’m doing great. I walk around this town like nothing is bothering me, when in reality I am freaking out. I feel like I did when I was four & my mom lost me at the mall. I’m right back at Oak Park Mall, watching the carousel & all of a sudden I realize my mom isn’t next to me. I’m lost in this world. I don’t know what to do.

When people I went to high school with talk about me, they probably say things like, “She was really artsy.” “Kind of an underachiever.” “When she wasn’t in class she was usually doing stuff in the theater or band room.” At least that’s what I like to think they would say about me, considering that is how I viewed my high school career. I didn’t really try that hard, but I put everything I had into the things I was passionate about. & once I felt like something was a lost cause, I threw in the towel & gave up. That’s how I was last year in school. I put my life & soul into Stephens. The people, the buildings, the street noises, even those damn squirrels became a part of who I was. Then all of a sudden it’s all taken away from me. I don’t know if what I’m going through is a midlife crisis or an identity crisis or what, but I feel lost. I got caught up in the bright colors of the world & didn’t realize that it was time to start making big girl decisions. Now the people I went to school with probably say stuff like, “Well, I guess she’s the Mina/Marcus/Cathy Formello of 2010.”  & that’s not a good thing. These people went crazy, started doing drugs, & got knocked up.

So now I’m sitting in Starbucks, fighting with Roxberry Juice’s wii-fi signal because I guess this particular Starbucks doesn’t have wii-fi of their own. I wouldn’t be trying so hard if I didn’t need to start applying for jobs. I would just walk around this shopping center if I didn’t look like a freakish lesbian bum (why did I get my hair cut??). So instead I sit here waiting for the internet to start working while I try to figure out where I can see myself working. I could be a waitress, a sales girl, a barista, anything. It’s just this is not where I wanted to be this year. I’m not ready to be living like this. I don’t even know what to do. I feel so pathetic right now. I feel so unmotivated to go out & get a job because I don’t want to be working right now. I want to be in school. I want to be in Columbia. I want to be a student. I want to be doing something that means something. I don’t want to be making sandwiches or serving coffee or selling shoes or adding whipped topping to a frappucino.

But you can’t always get what you want. Sometimes life gives you lemons & you have to figure out how to make lemonade. Sure, it’s not always fair but it’s life. So I’m going to keep smiling. I’m going to keep saying that I’m doing great. I’m going to be the world’s biggest bull shitter until things turn around. But until that actually happens I’m going to keep smiling like I don’t care.

God Bless the Beatles

I've been on a huge Beatles kick that past few days.

I don't know what it is about them, but their music has been putting me in a better mood.

Typical

So I got my hair cut a couple of weeks ago. My hair used to be pretty long, at least for me. I've never really been patient enough to keep it long because I usually just get frustrated that it's not growing fast enough. Plus it's just  a pain to take care of. So I decided it was time for a change.

I went from this:

To this:

It's a pretty drastic change. It's still getting some getting used to (I still try flipping my hair & it looks like I have a nervous twitch haha). But now I'm pretty sure I just cock-blocked myself. Like, I'm almost positive having short hair is going to put my dreams of ever getting a boyfriend in a blender.
Oh, the cleverness of me!