Party for One

I'm one hour away from my sixth day alone. At first I was super excited when my mom told me that she & Doug were going to be in Florida & that I would have the house to myself for a week. Then the days moved closer & closer to her departure date, I realized that I would really have the house to myself. Usually whenever they go out of town I just have friends over every night, but this time all of my friends were at school. I've spent my days at work making sandwiches & my nights wondering what I should do, which usually ends up being me sitting around watching television.

I've become one of those really sad people who just hang out with their mother all the time. & the only thing is, that's only when Doug is out of town. I'm alone basically 95% of my time (the other 5% is when I'm at work). I don't like it, but I don't know how to change it. It's hard to meet people when I'm not going to school. I have no reason to go out anywhere. I can't afford to go out anywhere anymore because I have to start paying back my student loans soon. I'm just stuck in this lonely rut & I don't know how to get out of it.

Sarah the Spider Squasher

I am highly afraid of spiders. This isn't a secret. 

When I see a spider, my heart usually stops beating & I look something like this:

So you can imagine how freaked out I was when I saw a spider in the shower the other day. Honest to God, I almost wet myself. It took all of my strength to get some toilet paper & kill that mother trucker. I then spent the rest of my shower looking over my shoulder to make sure a bigger/more terrifying spider hadn't climbed out of the shower head.

After my not so relaxing shower, I calmed down by watching some Arrested Development in my room. This seemed to work, until ANOTHER spider crawled across my bed. I was frozen in fear. I again had to muster up all my courage to get a tissue & squash that effing monster.

A few days went by & I thought that all the spiders had heard of the deaths of their loved ones & hightailed it out of here, but I was mistaken. Tonight as I was watching Project Runway, I saw something move on the living room floor. Thinking it was a piece of fuzz I ignored it. But then it moved again. I looked closer & it was a FREAKING HUGE SPIDER. I threw the remote at it, I threw the body butter at it, I tried smashing it under my cup of ginger ale & nothing worked. That sucker must have been wearing some kind of armor or something because I did everything short of grabbing a tissue & squeezing it between my fingers, which I almost did but when I looked back it was gone.

Honestly, I'm getting tired of all these freakin' spiders thinking that they're the shit & they can just walk around my house like they own the place. I mean, I know I don't personally own the place but I've been living here for 10 years. I have earned my right to walk around like this is my castle & no spider is going to take that away from me. So these spiders better watch their freaky little backs because I WILL black out & I WILL smash them like a sack of potatoes.